I'm glad Spike TV loves me!
       Monday, October 22nd 2007

       Some may call me lazy. And right now, I’m giving you permission to call me a lazy sack of shit. Who else would casually eat popcorn on the red carpet instead of conducting interviews? The Princess, of course. This one right here.
       Friday night, the night of the popcorn incident, was one of the best nights I’ve ever spent in Hollywood. Thank you Spike TV Scream Awards! The awards taped at the Greek Theatre in Griffith Park at around 7:30PM. I was a little irritated that the press was supposed to arrive so damn early (4PM?!?), but I made it by 5 and took my spot at the red carpet. All was smooth from here on out.
       All the press members were smashed in like sardines and I was at the end of the line with the other online peeps. Yeah, yeah, we know we’re chopped liver. Whatever. It was cool. Thanks to Robert Sanchez at IESB.net for being courteous enough to conduct some really good interviews for me to watch from centimeters away and another thanks for letting me hold and snack on his popcorn. Some interesting characters walked down the carpet; Bruce Campbell is still looking pretty good, Tobin Bell (Jigsaw from the Saw movies) enjoyed my rack the entire time he was interviewed, and Danny Trejo (such films as From Dusk Til Dawn and Grindhouse) told me it was necessary to hold my hand during his interview. Other red carpet sightings included Paris Hilton who breezed down the carpet, Slash, who looks the same as he did 20 years ago, Ozzie Osbourne, who looked lost, and Amy Lee of Evanescence who was gorgeous. I wanted to spot the sexy Milo Ventimiglia from Heroes, but my feet hurt and I jetted from my press spot before all the celebs had made their way down it.
       I’m happy I have such nice friends because a friend of a friend works at Spike TV and had the decency enough to give me a VIP pass, a ticket to the show, and a ticket to the after party at the Roosevelt. From what I understood, the rest of the press had to hangout in a tent outside the theatre without a live feed. If I hadn’t scored the nice extras, I probably would have just gone home. No use covering something you can’t even watch.
       But thanks to my new Spike TV pal (Troy Van Vooren), when I got bored on the carpet I took advantage and headed straight to the VIP area for some much needed beer before the taping began. With beer in hand, I sat in the upper level looking down at the stage. Not sure what they were trying to do with the design, with a podium on stage left and one located at the end of a peninsula jutting out of the center. Hey, wait, I just described a very phallic stage setup. No wonder I was so pleased the entire time.
       I can’t really tell you who won anything because the awards haven’t aired yet, but I can tell you that they showed a few cool trailers and had a few musical performances. Look out for Thomas Jane’s drunken introduction of the trailer for The Mist. The guy wasn’t even reading the teleprompter (He was in my section. I could see the screen). I was pretty stoked to see Tim Burton’s Sweeney Todd trailer. Looks gruesomely fantastic.
       After some more drinks, I headed to the Roosevelt for the after party. The theme was very Eyes Wide Shut. Tall thin women walked around, scantily clad, with large feathery masks on their faces. One posing above the fondue table told me I should be up there because I was wearing a corset. I just grabbed a mini rice krispie treat and said, “No way.” In regards to food, they should actually have some of substance next year, but I have to admit I, for once, was happy with just alcohol. The night went by in a blur, but I do recall a conversation I had with Ben Templesmith, artist of the graphic novel 30 Days of Night. He was very friendly and approachable. I gave him a wave at the end of the night before heading up to an after after party on the roof. But before I move on to that portion of the evening, I have to comment on Criss Angel’s not so magical moves all night long. Being an observer, I spent most of my time just walking around and taking note of the things going on around me. There seemed to be a lot of attention on the area Quentin Tarantino and Eli Roth were chilling in but what really stuck me as entertaining was the way Angel tried to pick up women all night. I specifically heard him tell a girl standing next to me that she was “the most beautiful woman at this party.” After he presumably tried to get her to have sex with him for quite a while and did NOT succeed, he and his bodyguard moved on. I saw him getting touchy feely with another girl not so long after that. Highlights and obnoxious jewelry don’t make the man, Mindfreak.
       The after after party on the roof was extremely chill. I drank a diet coke and sat on a lawn chair. I briefly spoke with Lyriq Bent from the Saw movies, ended up at Mel’s Diner eating breakfast at 4AM and made it home to crash by 5AM.
       To see the awards show I watched in a beer haze, tune in to Spike TV Tuesday, the 23rd, at 9PM.
       I love you, Hollywood. Princess Jolene signing off.